I have favorite things, a lot of them, and sometimes I love to blurt them all out, so I’m going to right now.
1. Spring. The way it feels on my skin, and the shivers it sends through my body. The tension between the wind that freezes and the sun that warms. The heavy clouds that want to drop on the earth, and empty their burdens on my uncovered head.
2. Books. The way a book feels in my hand, the way my mind responds to it, the way my forehead creases into worry before I realize how anxious I must look to any passerby. The way I get so immersed into it, as if the book was a culture in and of itself.
3. Colors. How the colors of my room remind me of a Midsummer Night’s Dream, with its snatches of beauty and color splattered here and there, the primroses on the sill of my window, a shelf filled with vintage collections from grandmothers, and old books.
4. Freedom. Personal freedom. How free my life is now that I’ve deactivated my facebook. I feel more private, personal, and original, less busy, less of a nosey person. Really I’m just so happy, because now people have to ask me what’s going on. They have to call me or come visit. I love hearing your voices and getting your letters and seeing your faces much better than I like hearing about it all on the internet.
5. Guitar. Hearing my older brother play the guitar at night. For six years he’s been out of the house. Now he and his wife are staying with us a few months before moving to Scotland, and I realize how much I’ve missed hearing his fingers strum out the songs in his head.
6. Youth. The grace God has given me to realize the short time I have now, and the strength he’s given me to use my time wisely.
7. Forgetfulness. How often I don’t write on this blog, and how many times a day I say: “I should really write a blog post on that…”
8. Cemeteries. Feeling myself living and breathing, and knowing that I will decay and rot, but someday, I will meet some of these souls in eternity, and my heart-beat quickens when I think of my approaching death, because it will bind me to my Saviour. Another favorite thing is bound up in this: fighting the fight I was called to. For though I look forward to death, I take joy in this life, in this battle, that is weary at times and painful, but I take joy in it because I do it for the sake of Christ, and he has given me a mind, a taste, a sense for the beautiful.
9. Flowers. Tulips and daffodils, and how, when I’m going to sleep, the spring breeze carries their scent from the vase where they stand to me, everything sweet and lovely about it.
10. Music. The Water, sung by Johnny Flynn and Laura Marling. It’s so simple, almost melancholy, but it appeals to my mind.
11. Silence. How, when I close my eyes, everything is filled. The soul-waves that bear me almost to the brink of the unbearable, that fill me with pain, joy, thankfulness, and love.
12. Love. True love, and you’ll probably get a post on it soon. I am rather fed up with the world and how most people deal with love, because to my eyes it is sacred. The ties between siblings, children and parents, husband and wife, friends, the love that binds them together is sacred. Alright… more on that later… maybe tonight…
13. Fifty-Six Stories. I am truly addicted to it. I love writing my little story each night, I love how it’s become a natural part of me. I love seeing my writing progress and regress and then progress again. I love the critiques my friends give me.
14. Memories. I have many, and they seem bitter sweet. A smell of something will remind me of days when I was little and ran freely in the joy of youth. I am still basking in youth, loving it, embracing it, meeting it full in the face, trying to capture every moment of it.
15. Dreaming. Purposeful dreaming. A sudden lull in the beat of every day life, where a dream comes, the excitement it brings, and the joy. Another purpose, a new goal, something to pursue.
16. Problems. I have had a lot of problems this year. I’ve felt pretty messed up sometimes, but looking back, I see how they’ve strengthened me. Even in the midst of them, I enjoyed in a rather odd way how low I was, how completely laid low, just because I knew that I would be raised up with new courage.
17. Learning. Ideas, thoughts, philosophies, dreams, adventures. I love these things with my heart, and I love talking about them with other people. I’ll settle for reading, but I much prefer looking at the sky through the branches of a budding tree and talking about people’s ideas, and learning from wiser people.
18. Fairytales. The lost meanings, the misinterpreted beauty. I love the originality, the sameness and yet variety. I love folklore too.
19. Friends. The good friends who inspire you, who help you along the road of life, encouraging, honing, giving all they can and accepting what you give.
20. Family. My mother, good and kind, wonderful and inspiring. My daddy, strong and wise, who can answer any question I ask. My brothers and sisters, dearly loved, with all their quirks and eccentricities, all their wildness, their different characters and personalities.
At the end of this list I find myself blessed, as always. Almost burdened by so much goodness, so much joy that has been given to my soul. Some people find me quiet, some find me loud. I express myself in different ways, but I am a thinker. I think when the joy is too much for me, I laugh loud and sing when it is too much for me. I am thankful and happy in the life God has placed before me, abandoned to the race in front of me, ready to fight His battle.