The Half-Thought

I experienced something the other night and I said to myself: “There! that would make for a wonderful blog post.”  And now the thought is gone, and I can’t remember what it was that I was going to say.

Life is half-filled with these half-thoughts, and their completion is lost somewhere on a ribbon that stretches on and on in my mind.

How can I reach that infinite space?  How can I touch the substance of something so far away? How can I be effective?

How can I leave my little throne of Self, where I am protected, and how can I stretch beyond the confines of my little world to try and reach the lives of those outside?

I forget that there are people who crave completion, like the half-thought in my head.  I forget that there are people who inwardly starve themselves for something that they can’t find.  And I forget that I am supposed to give them an idea.

All I see is the result of their deep thinking.  All I see is where they’ve gone wrong, and think it’s such a shame.  All I see is what they don’t have, what it is they’re missing.  What I don’t see is how I might help them.

But how might I help them?

This is the question of my life right now.  I am a writer, and I could write books.  But what’s the use in writing books to try and reach the wandering souls if only Christians read them? And yet, how can I tell that that’s how it will be? How can I know that maybe a word, a sentence, or a thought will drive deeply into someone’s brain, causing them to think?

How can I know how God is using me?

“Every step that you take, could be your biggest mistake

It could bend or it could break, but that’s the risk that you take.” – Coldplay

Do I stop walking? Will I let the fear of messing up drive my feet into the ground like nails, and keep me at a standstill, reaching, but never gaining?  What if a piece of truth escapes on that endless ribbon, and I mess up people’s lives?  Am I adequate?

But if I wait till I am adequate, nothing will ever get accomplished.

I am only a sinner—a saved one, but still, a sinner—releasing the love inside of me to other sinners like me.  Because there is love inside of me, and there is a desire, a yearning for the hungry souls that I’ve never met.

I want to know them, and I want to help them. I want them to know what I know and more.  I want to be a tool for the salvation of this world I love and hate so much.

“‘It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door,’ he used to say. ‘You step onto the Road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.'”.  – Frodo Baggins

I want the people living in misery to know the joy of Christ.  I want them to know his love, to accept it.  I want them to have the faith that I have in Christ.  I want them to be comforted in affliction; I want them to have a reason to hope.

And I want Christ to use me.

So the end of this matter is simply this: To walk by faith, not by sight.  To rely only on God.  To look beyond my desires and ambitions to see the greater purpose, the much more important road.  To not stay still or be silent, but be diligent in the proclamation of my faith.

I do not want to state my faith here and then hope that it reaches some people.  That is not enough.  A proclamation is not enough.  A pursuit is needed, a constant active awareness of someone’s state, a love, a gentleness for that person.  Faith is not something to hammer over someone’s head.

So I must be humble, and I must be reliant on God; lowly, as it were, and yet proud.  Never assuming or unapproachable, never judgmental.  Only loving, only kind, only gentle.   And if I can do nothing else, if no other road is presented, to pray fervently and steadily for those who are seeking but not finding, and craving but left unsatisfied.

Let me be a light, or a word, however small, that is effective, so that the half-thoughts are completed, so that the joy is infinite, and the love almost unbearable.  So that what is lost may be found, and what is lacking be given.  Only Christ can do this, but let me be an instrument, for it is He who works in me.


9 thoughts on “The Half-Thought

  1. You know what folks? We don’t need daily devotionals. Just come over and read Ruby’s blog. It is enough to give you food for thought for the whole day – sometimes even the whole week. … Girl, you’re really quite fascinating. How do you take a half-thought which you forgot and turn it into this? You wanted a wonderful blog post? Well, you got it.
    “If I wait till I am adequate, nothing will ever get accomplished.” That just might end up as my email’s signature! Beside Cicero, Schaeffer, and all those other intellectual people. :-)

    Who else wishes they had these types of half-thoughts? Why, I’d even be happy with a quarter thought! ;-)

  2. “Only loving, only kind, only gentle. ” That is the key.

    God told today’s prophet (Michel Potay), often a smile from you will do more than a long speech. (In The Revelation of Arès)

  3. Oooh thank you Ruby. Thank you thank you thank you.

    I love this post, and could not agree more. Even just small things can be influential towards the kingdom of Christ! I just read the first chapter of “Don’t Waste You Life” bye John Piper last night. Maybe I’ll call you to talk to you about it today.

    Anyway. Thanks.

    <3 <3 <3 <3

  4. Wow. I completely agree with Mr. Turneswitch. Your thoughts are fascinating, provoke my own little brain to get the cogs turning, and are just quite wonderful. :)

  5. Part of my comment above may be culturally and individually true but textually, it is inaccurate and I do not seem to be able to edit or delete here. The actual quote is “Your voice shall be sweet, your word shall be sober; a kiss of [from] you will often do better than rhetoric.” The Revelation of Arès 23/6

  6. Great post Ruby, and amazing how God can work in similar ways on people hundreds of miles apart, who haven’t talked, and yet are thinking the same thing! I have been mulling over some thoughts and feelings lately and the other night was hit with the figurative divine slap upside the head. God really just woke me up to see that it doesn’t matter whether or not I am ready, He doesn’t need me to be ready, in order for Him to use me, He just needs me to be willing. Someday might I be more effective as I increase my skills and knowledge, but God wants me to touch people now, just as I am, today not someday there are hurting people who need hope and someone to show them true love. And clumsy and in adequate as I am, God can do great things if I just say yes. That was my little epiphany, and then I read your blog and see so many of the same thoughts, pretty amazing, God is awesome ;D Thanks for sharing girl, keep it up!

  7. This is a beautiful, wonderful post Ruby! Have you ever read “Don’t Waste Your Life” by John Piper? It’s an awesome book, and I think it helped me to understand better what it truly means to ‘live for Christ.’

    <3 <3 <3

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